Something Inside
by TakeHeart
Summary: [Oneshot] Tezuka and something inside of him that he cannot comprehand. [TezuRyo]


Standard Disclaimers Apply

A/N: My first TezuRyo ficlet. :3 I hope it isn't too cheesy.

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"_...Buchou."_

The pen in his hand pauses in its tracks; the ink rapidly seeping through the paper, leaving behind a messy blue blotch. Tezuka Kunimitsu stares at his English homework, but all he sees in his mind is a boy with a white cap panting and looking up at him, his eyes filled with awe and new-found respect.

"_Buchou... please!"_

Tezuka tries to shake off the images to start writing again and complete his assignment, but he remembers the boy again; his hair slightly unkempt without his cap, kneeling before him with fire and determination in his eyes. He feels his left wrist move, and blinks and narrows his eyes at what he has written. A clean line is drawn over the word 'ryoma' seconds later.

"_Buchou! Thanks for everything!"_

Afterwards, he lies in his bed—with his homework abandoned and stacked neatly on his table—and closes his eyes, but even in the last second before he drifts off to sleep, the voice lingers. In his dream, he feels cold and _something else_ and his heart clenches.

---

He wonders why he keeps thinking about Ryoma—he has even started addressing him by his first name in his mind—and why there is this odd feeling in his chest, but shakes them off and instead focuses on his studies and the nationals.

He tells himself he did the right thing when he had asked him to go to America for the US open. It is true that he would be able to go much further this way, and it is true that he could still be Seigaku's pillar of support even if he is continents away, but something just doesn't sit _right_, and Tezuka isn't sure if he knows what that is.

He chooses not to contemplate too much and tries ways to distract himself whenever he is alone and feels this _tug_ and starts thinking of Ryoma again. Tezuka's life is simple; in order, and he wants to keep it that way without too many complications.

---

When the nationals are around the corner, other than being tensed, everyone feels that something is missing, including Tezuka. He meets up with Ryuuzaki-sensei everyday to hold long discussions about the order, and he sighs softly every time he sees the empty slot in Singles 3.

Momoshiro and Kikumaru go to the burger joint less often, and there isn't much noise coming from the freshmen trio during practices. The regulars had never played better, but the tension in the air is so thick it could be sliced with a knife.

At the opening ceremony, Tezuka can sense the other schools looking their way, and the teams they have fought up till then stares at them for a moment before frowning and murmuring to themselves. He doesn't appreciate it when Inui informs him that there are extra lines in Shinji's and Sanada's foreheads, and that Kentarou isn't in his usual chatty mood.

---

The sound of a tennis ball hitting the fence makes everyone turn to look back at the courts again, and a collective gasp can be heard from the Seigaku regulars. Tezuka is the only one who doesn't look as startled as the others at the appearance of a boy wearing a white cap and holding a red racquet. But that is only because his body froze and his heart had stopped beating when a pair of golden eyes locked into his.

"Echizen!"

It is Momoshiro's exclaim which successfully breaks Tezuka out of his daze, and he tears his eyes away from Ryoma-the boy who isn't supposed to be standing before him at the moment, and Tezuka hopes he isn't delusional, and Ryoma-the boy who had so conveniently crashed into Tezuka's world and forced him to say goodbye to his world of perfect order the instant their eyes meet.

On the train back to school later, everyone crowds around the freshman, pouncing on him with questions with their faces filled with obvious delight at having him back. Tezuka is the only who chooses—forces himself—to be silent, sneaking glances at the boy out of the corner of his eye now and then; his body ignoring his mind's protest.

---

He supposes it isn't wise to be too close to Ryoma for the moment—or for a few days; weeks—when he has spent the last few weeks after Ryoma left for America thinking about him. But fate can be cruel sometimes, and currently, Tezuka finds himself alone in the clubroom with Ryo— Echizen. Only Echizen, even if he's only saying it in his mind, because he is standing all but a few feet away from him.

"Buchou," Echizen starts, and Tezuka feels himself burning everywhere by that voice that has been haunting him for nights.

His eyes are the loveliest shades of golden, he thinks, more beautiful than the sunrise he wakes up to everyday, and this close, (this _close_ and without a net in between), his cap does not shield anything and Tezuka can see the emotions swirling in those orbs.

There is the ever-present admiration in them, which appears every time Ryoma—_Ryoma_ again—looks at him, and he forces himself to steady his breathing and tries to appear upright but not rigid; loosening the grip on his shirt a little.

And there is the hint of a smile and something else there. Something that has been growing ever since their match beside the tracks. But the nationals are here, Tezuka reminds himself, and they cannot afford to be distracted. He convinces himself that what he sees is only his gladness to be back on the team, and his excitement for the tournament.

"Echizen," he manages, complete with a short, precise nod, "welcome back."

He is to-the-point as he has always been, and there is this distance he puts between them whenever he speaks to Ryoma. But something inside clicks and falls into place when the words roll out of his tongue.

There is this ache, and this feeling he doesn't know how to describe-(was in denial of having) until now.

He has missed him.

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**END**


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